The difference between the conditioned self and the higher self
The conditioned self is made up of a set of beliefs and subconscious programming. The conditioned self is not a part of you, just like the higher self is not a part of you. It’s who you’re being in any given moment that tells you whether you’re showing up as your conditioned self or your higher self.
The conditioned self is the self that’s been moulded by your life experiences. Every event, experience and encounter you’ve ever had up until this point in time. I’m talking about tv shows you watched as a child, how your parents raised you, what school you went to, what books you read, what influences you had, everything.
So from our careers, our dating lives, our communities, to our relationship with money, we’ve been conditioned to believe and feel certain things.
It’s not bad or wrong, it’s just social conditioning. We’re human beings and we survive on connection but that’s the thing we sometimes just survive, so if you want to truly thrive in life, you have to reprogram that conditioning and gain more self awareness so that you can become your higher self.
Who you truly are, your most authentic self, some call it your higher self which can sometimes put people in the spiritual world on a bit of a power trip like look I’m my higher self but all higher self is referring to is the you that’s the most authentic version of you. The version of you that doesn’t just get what it needs and wants but the version of you that is really really happy when they get it.
I dreamed of climbing the corporate ladder and becoming CEO of a company one day. So, that’s exactly what I did.
It’s actually crazy to me now because I have the awareness now, but back then I was just operating from my conditioned self.
When I found my way to a six figure salary and cool job at an online dating company I had reached the peak of my vision. I had everything I ever wanted. I had a home by the beach, a nice paycheck, I mean I wasn’t complaining, I was just unhappy. I actually became really depressed. There were some other personal things going on in my life but I felt uninspired and stuck, like is this it? Is this all there is for me? I wanted this for so long. Why aren’t I happy?
After working with a coach, I realised I’d curated my entire life based on my conditioned self not my higher self. Meaning I was so busy doing, I wasn’t ever being. Being my true authentic self. That’s when I quit my corporate career and dived head first into entrepreneurship. I began investing in self-education products but this time it wasn’t to achieve a goal or to get something so I could look like I was successful, this time it was to build my dream life, to find inner peace, to follow my bliss and live life on my terms.
Why aren’t most people living as their higher self?
Most people aren’t living as their higher self because they aren’t aware of all the insidious ways they’ve been conditioned. The biggest misconception about higher self is that only someone who is successful has tapped into their higher self. Your higher self is the self that when your boss triggers you, you don’t lash out and have an argument or the self that chooses to write an email with empathy rather than an email that’s short and blunt. Your higher self is consciousness, it’s love and it’s here right now, it’s just our everyday lives can see us fall back into a way of being (our conditioning) that’s far away from who we truly are.
Most people are also more comfortable relating to their pain and being in a relationship with fear and scarcity than they are being in a relationship with pleasure and overflow. Again it comes back to conditioning. Most people relate to pain better than they do with pleasure and it’s just because they haven’t increased their capacity to experience and hold more pleasure in their life.
Here are some steps you can take to move from your conditioned self to your highest self. Now don’t get me wrong, I still fall into conditioned ways of being sometimes but now I’m aware of it so that means I can change it.
- Become aware of the pattern.
- Hold an intention to change the pattern.
- Make a small promise to yourself to change it.
- Repeat the small promise until you can commit to a bigger promise.
Keep going until you’ve created an entirely new habit, pattern and way of being with yourself.
This is a process you can use when you’re ready for change. Sometimes when we’re in a really bad place in life, exercises like this don’t serve us because our work is in accepting what is before we can actively change anything.
It wasn’t until I accepted what is, like ‘Ok, I’m in a job that’s never going to fulfil me.’ That’s when I was ready to take the next step, that’s when I was ready to change but it took me a year just to figure that out.
Tying to overcome feelings of grief, depression or stuckness and forcing yourself to do things to make you feel happier isn’t what your highest self wants. That’s your conditioned self in ‘doing’ mode. Your highest self wants you to simply be. Without doing anything. Your highest self knows that when you be, everything changes, with minimal effort.
So whenever you feel like you ‘should do’ something to be happier or be better it’s a good bet, you need to stop ‘doing’ so much and ‘be’ more. Don’t run from the pain, this is what will lead you places you don’t want to be. Instead be led by your dreams and desires, make decisions from a place of pleasure, excitement and expansion.
The best mindset to adopt when going from the conditioned self to higher self is to remember that your higher self is not some elusive self you need to achieve or do anything to become, think of your higher self as the room that you’re conditioned self lives in. It’s always there, you are the room.
What happens when you don’t take time to stop and check in with yourself?
You could live your whole life as your conditioned self. It’s not bad or wrong, but imagine how much space and potential there is to become more of who you truly are?
The key principle you must understand to become your higher self
It’s a constant process of unfolding. It’s not about doing anything, it’s about your capacity to simply be. How much can you hold and how aware are you of what you’re potential to hold is.
How do you know when you’re descending into the conditioned self?
You start to feel like a smaller version of yourself, an uninspired version of yourself. When you’re living out of alignment with your values, without a plan of what’s next.
How to know when you’re on the right path?
You don’t have to know everything and have it all figured out. You don’t even need to be happy and positive all the time, you just have to be the room and be aware of what’s going on. That’s all you truly need. From that place, inspired action will come.